“How many times does he have to tell you…

…for you to realize and accept that he truly, sincerely and definitely likes you?” asked Femme-Fatale. No, I was not on another one of my emotional spirals, concerning Mr. Mahn; however, I was also over-self-protecting. There is a very fine balance between keeping my emotions in check, as well as enjoying and trusting Mr. Mahn to actually make an effort to keep seeing me in the future. Despite his reassurances, my friends’ reassurances, and even his own friends’ reassurances (his best friend, nonetheless), I still caught myself emotionally guarded. Maybe it is because I am actually wonderfully overwhelmed by the enormous potential we have together, and the overall comfortable feeling that we already have.

Surprisingly, this level of comfort is something I would have only associated with a couple that is defined as an actual, steady relationship – you know, if he was my boyfriend. Of course, that is just my normative senses clicking in, which is not necessarily helpful when dating. Perhaps the level of comfort we have is a result of simply enjoying the time we spend together while not getting caught up with what lies ahead for us. Live in the Present. Live in the Now, my wise friend, Silver Sage, would say. Alas, she is right. It truly is unnerving for me to be so comfortable, happy and glowing with Mr. Mahn, despite knowing that within a week, I will be going back to school. Consequently, our weekly (hell, sometimes bi-daily) meetings will definitely be reduced, but we still plan to keep seeing each other after September – either he visits me in London or I meet with him in Toronto, but I digress.

Last Sunday, I had the chance to spend a day in the Toronto Islands with him and his friends for brunch and the beach. Of course, there was the initial bout of nervousness that comes with meeting the friends of the man you are currently dating, especially if we have not explicitly labeled ourselves as each other’s boyfriend. In retrospect, any anxiety was unfounded because we have been at a good place, simply enjoying our time together, and liking each other at our current place. If I have not said it enough, we are comfortable, and our disposition is evident to everybody else around us. Meeting his friends went with so much ease that one would think that this was not the first time I had met them. Might I add that by the time we had actually stripped down to do some swimming, I had been playfully tackled and tickled to the ground by his friends. I feel a new idiom coming up: Comfort begets comfort. (Oh God, with ”Pocket Full of Sunshine” as the movie montage). Consequently, a simple friendly brunch extended into the customary conjugation at his place, which then extended into dinner and leather-fetish festival on Church Street with his friends.


I think this is the first ‘relationship’ (and I say ‘relationship’ without defining ourselves as boyfriend, and merely alluding to the fact that we have been dating, but I digress) wherein I have been so comfortable and glowing that it has actually been unnerving sometimes. One should never bring in baggage from relationships past, but letting go of pseudo-fabulous baggage is much easier said than done and usually requires a third-party to say, “Sweetie, the luggage has got to go. It ruins the otherwise fabulous look.” Thanks, Femme-Fatale for always helping me swing back into lucidity.