his Euro-pleasure-with-an-Asian trip (and after my pleasure trip, for that matter) all bets are most certainly off. Our relationship from the summer of 2007 was certainly a great one, and I can find myself some good memories to reminisce. However, those good moments are certainly overshadowed by the perpetual intrinsic trust-issue I had with him, regardless of R-bombs and L-bombs – perhaps, also because I did not trust myself. I should have definitely paid attention to the road signs, because my sources found some incriminating text messages to and from some other random Asian. Thus, we reach the crux of my valid vindication, because this random Asian is the other half to Lofty-Ex’s Euro-pleasure-with-an-Asian trip.It was back in December when I last saw Lofty-Ex under awkwardly platonic circumstances: lunch at what once was one of my favourite restaurants. Anyway, the awkwardness comes from many of the things that have remained unsaid ever since we
had broken up in August. My return to school was going to create a physical distance, and naturally, an emotional distance nestled in between us. However, for months every conversation with him felt like chastising because I had grown more distant than he had expected. Of course, it is my entire fault, because I was supposed to stick around in limbo and not move on (yes that was sarcastic). Anyhow, during that lunch I conveniently find out that: 1) his current boy-sitch is with a guy he had met while we were still dating, 2) they would be roaming around Europe for nearly a month, 3) they might be moving in together in the next year. Walking away from that lunch, it felt like I had just been bombarded with grenades while sitting in I-Currently-Have-No-Man’s Land. The mind reels…Back to present times, I had avoided any unnecessary contact with Lofty-Ex, so seeing his name blinking on my desktop was definitely unexpected. However, since he initiated this sudden conversation, I had no problems conjuring up suppressed feelings and battle wounds (not scars, because, baby, he left no discernible marks). Furthermore, I was more than happy to serve up a dish of cold, hard revenge, and vindication is the sweetest kind. Incidentally, I was enjoying some Sticky-Toffee Häagen-Dazs during all this, but I digress. As I regaled Lofty-Ex with my most recent and stimulating tryst in a gloating manner, I realized how surprisingly
unsatisfying this quest for vengeance had become. It was almost as if I had stripped away any great value that my experiences with Transformer have had – it was analogous to Tom Sachs working on a masterpiece.Whether or not Lofty-Ex was just saving face by sharing his own boy-sitch after my one-man play about two men was irrelevant, because his supportive response only made me feel increasingly worse about myself. Moreover, as great as my romp with Transformer has been, I had been avoiding and omitting a not-so-minor detail: we are suffering from a scorching case of Expiration Dating. Hence, unlike Lofty-Ex, I do not have a boyfriend moving in with me, much less a relationship – let’s face it, two weeks worth of great conversation and astronomical sex a relationship does not make. So there we have it, the not-so-subtle pink elephant in the room, parading and trumpeting ever so proudly.
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